I' M JUST A LITTLE GIRL WHO WANTS TO BE LOOKED AFTER! - mylin

Would u fall in love for someone whom u didn’t meet personally? Is it possible? Well yes it is… & I just did. I’m going to share my stories with u guys that I kept for almost two yrs. Yes its been two yrs since I met this “MAN” who actually change my life, my plans & maybe everything! I met him thru net last February of 2006 when I was still in Japan during my tour. I don’t know how he finds my friendster account but still I never hesitated to add him up, actually he is a Filipino Japanese who work as engineer in one of the biggest computer brand around the world I think. That time he is in the Philippines for the newly opened branch of their company somewhere in Cebu (according to what he told me!), every week since I add him we exchanging hi & hello’s, & telling stories that happened to us everyday, He became my shock absorber during the time that I have a bad news from Manila that my mom got an open heart surgery. As I expected, we planned to meet in person when my flights go back to the Philippines on May of 2006. But unfortunately it did not happen because I have so many appointments to attend to and his boss also didn’t allow him to fly back to Manila from Cebu just to meet me due to their deadlines. At first I don’t mind if we meet in person or not because I’m not interested in Japanese blood, for me those are sucks! & I am not entertaining suitors because I don’t think he is also interested to me as his girlfriend or partner. But things sudden change because of the continuous sending emails & txt messages I didn’t even notice that I fall for him for being a good listener & a good adviser also. To make a story short we became “ON” for five months, those first months we are planning everything, as in getting married soon, paying my credits, buying house & lots in Cebu or in Laguna, building our own family--- but those are only just a dream for me! Because when I told my mom about my plans or “OUR PLANS” my mom wouldn’t agree because first how can she agree if he didn’t meet that man in person, 2^nd how can she give her own daughter to a total stranger, & 3^rd how can she make sure that this man is good enough for me, because we meet thru net, exchanging txt messages every night, he court me thru net & txt & we became lovers (he is the one giving me a pre-paid card for 5months that we’ve been ON!), he even proposed to me thru net & txt also & I accept all of  that. According to him if everything is planned then we were going to meet soon to get married. But those are the reasons why my mom did not approve. Being in love doesn’t know this thing because I’m blind maybe for the love that I felt for him so I decided to stow away asking my mom that I need space to know what I really want because for me this is the only thing that I need “love” that will make me complete. Those plans did not happen because when I go back into our house I talk to my mom that those things would not happen because we decided to postpone it. So I go back to my old track, & I find a job that suit to what I want, but another problem exist when that man try to court my superior without knowing that I know all this things, he is courting my boss while we are together & that was the time I realized that all of the things I’ve done to make our relationship working is useless. Because behind my back he is courting someone else how can I make sure that this man is absolutely fateful to me? I know that this is the sign that GOD gave me to stop & end this nightmare & that’s it.

--- Until now there are so many questions that came to my mind. 1^st. is this man really exists? Is he really true to his feelings towards me? That this man don’t have commitment to others when we became lovers (in short, is he still single?). What might happen to me now if I marry him? Until now I still keep his picture, still keep the memories we’ve shared (if u can call it a memory???) Still waiting that if June 16 is coming, is he coming back for me? On what year? Many questions still hanging on my mind every time I remember him & I know the only thing that would stop this is when one day he has the courage to face & introduce himself to me. That I might say “SO YOURE THE MAN THAT MADE MY HEART GO CRAZY! HAHAHA!!!”